How to feel?
today has been rather good? went to queensway to make the tshirts and went to aunt hazel’s house to do my home ec. haha it was quite funny considering how i panicked like mad because i was worried i couldn’t finish in time. hmm going back to do again tomorrow and eat dindin at the airport then going to pick sissy upp. gosh, can’t wait for her to get back honestly.
moving on to friend C after a few posts. i honestly don’t know how you can blatantly say something like that and feel like everything isn’t your fault? would it make it clear to you now if i told EVERYTHING IS YOUR F A U L T. i can’t believe you put on such a show for others to see and seriously, i can’t even believe that they bothered to believe you?! i must admit i was really angry, or i am very angry at you. but at least i know you’re not worth it. i hope you know how much this is your fault, and how much i detest you. i’m sorry, yet not, to say that i honestly will never forgive you again, and that you shall never enter my life. you’ve crossed the line this time, and there’s no turning back. please, if it’s anyone’s fault, i blame you.
Shaggggged to it’s maximum.
training today was my my, soooooo tiring! best way to start training off was to pair me up with coach and play against the 2 oldest players. gosh it was really tiring. :( but beneficial at the same time! i think i sort of played well but of course improvements can be made. :) i really need to get a skipping rope from Daiso ASAP! misplaced my blue one boo. anyway, can’t wait to catch the 9 and 10 o’clock shows later! :D hahaha but all 3 Ms have gone for some church related camp i think so it’s just lonely me! :(
haven’t written your letter yet. i don’t know if it’s because i don’t have the guts, i don’t want to write or i’m just plain lazy? haha saw you today and once again acted like i didn’t see you when of course i did.
Catch your breath.
wells today has been a good day. managed to catch up with Yanxian and tell her many many things. :) felt like it has been ages since we last talked, don’t even know why. so, it was quite funny early in the morning when i woke up to find her in my house because i forgot to turn on the alarm i set the night before. HAHAHA. but anyway, we went to have breakfast at Burger King then to salted! :D ahhh, the wonders of ice cream. talked to her about friend A and decided that yknow maybe i should do something? but sigh, we don’t know what the future holds. and i don’t even know if i should do what i’m supposed to do. so confusedddd. okay then, at night went to NTUC and bought starbucks and tutu kueh. :D omnomnom. glad today was fun. training tomorrow, and probably going to cousie’s house.
really miss your presence around me. i wish i could tell you whatever that i did but i know nobody would be there to listen. this is all just some wishful thinking of mine. lately, it’s been getting tougher than it used to be, and i don’t even know why. i thought time was supposed to heal, but it’s not healing, and the wounds are just reopening and reopening all over again. sometimes i really wonder to myself how someone can have everything in the world - a family, good friends, a home - yet still complain that they don’t have enough. for goodness sake, just shut up. can’t you just stop and look around you and think about how G R E A T your life is? don’t act like the world owes you a living, god you live for yourself and nobody owes you anything. why not learn to be contented already? why do we always take everything for granted, why don’t we learn how to appreciate? and by the time when we finally do learn, it will be too late. and our lives, our lives just can’t afford to have that many regrets, yknow?
